“I’m not good at socialising. I know it will go badly, it always has done before. I get shaky, like I’m about to pass out just before I have to do it. After a while I started just avoiding it. The people aren’t going to like me, anyway. Even at work I’ve found ways to work from home or stay in my office. The problem is I am getting tired of being alone. I don’t know why I can’t do it like a normal person… Its not fair. I want a friend. I want sex. But just can’t…”
Social anxiety is more common that people think.
If something like this is happening to you, talking with a qualified professional might help.
What is Social Anxiety?
Social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is a long-lasting and overwhelming fear of social situations. It's a common problem that usually starts during the teenage years.
For some people it gets better as they get older, although for many it doesn't go away on its own. Social anxiety is more than shyness. It's an intense fear that doesn't go away and affects everyday activities, self-confidence, relationships and work or school life.
Many people occasionally worry about social situations, but someone with social anxiety feels overly worried before, during and after them
You may have social anxiety if you:
It can be very distressing and have a big impact on your life, but there are ways to help you deal with it.
How can we treat Social Anxiety issues?
Working with a professional therapeutically is likely to involve identifying negative thought patterns about what will happen when you socialise and behaviours such as how you avoid them.
These then form the targets of therapy.
It is often the case that this type of issue has long standing causes, sometimes as far back as childhood.
Slowly, once we are managing the symptoms, we can work backwards and address the causes, working out what happened to make you feel this way and allowing you to let go of it and feel better.
I offer all clients a free initial consultation. It gives you a chance to see if this will work for you without charge.